Friday, May 31, 2013

People Person

Very often it's not what is said, but how we say it that either gets us what we want or gets us into trouble.  Communication is an art form.  It's a manipulation of the words we choose, to manipulate those we communicate with.  You can say what's on your mind, alienate people and piss them off, or, you can say what people want to hear, what makes them feel good and get closer to what you want.
On the surface it sounds dirty & uncouth, but it's really an exercise in courtesy.  A dance with the language.  The right words don't come easy.  If you talk, talk,
talk and never shut up, you probably say the first thing that pops in your head and we all know how that goes.  People skills are no more than the process of selecting the right words and gestures in the proper order.  And maybe throwing in a drink or meal.

It starts with our families, then our friends, our classmates, co-workers and so on.  Women are predominately the masters of this dance.  Not only do they have the upper hand with what's between their legs, but also with what's between their ears.  It's no secret women are better at communicating than men.  However I make it a point to break that stereotype:)  But only on the down-low.  A good poker player never tips his hand.  Women appreciate men who can articulate their thoughts and aren't afraid to show a little emotion.  Being a 'gentleman' is a conscious decision to say and do the right things.  Then again, they also get off on guys with a little attitude.  Show them respect, be nice and do what they say, then pull it back for a day and be a real dick.  Let her know you're being nice by choice, not because you're a pushover.  Once she realizes you're the one in control, she'll be on her knees when it counts.

No doubt choosing the right words takes some thought.  And even if the words aren't clever, just being nice is more often than not enough.  Non-verbal
communication, or what we see during interaction, is the most important part of conversing.  And it's not about being fake or manipulative.  People's true colors will show with time.  If someone is full of shit and just trying to use you, it becomes apparent eventually.  Intent is the hidden factor we all try to figure out when meeting a person.  Ask the right question and you'll sift right through the bs.  Interrogation is Fun-damental.

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