Sunday, January 6, 2013

Card Hunt

Garbage Pale Kids were one of the first collectibles I found as a kid.  Actually it was the influence of my older sister that lead me to discovering these filthy, mud-scraping, worm-squishing, fece-mooshing, cow-chip-shoveling, dog-dirt-stepping, bathroom-floor-licking, under-carpet-munching, fly-tape-flossing, curdled-milk-guzzling, back-hair-shaving, brown-wart-rubbing troll-ass-kids.  I found a few of the old stickers taped inside a black diary looking book that I used to scribble in as a kid, but there weren't any good ones that could top the grotesque description I just gave.

Instead for this post I will continue with the theme of Alternative Card Collecting.  Recently while digging through some old boxes, I found some John Connor cards.  Not the guy who plays for the Jets, but the Terminator 2 John Connor.  Man I must've been really into wasting my parents money as a kid.  "Buy me these cards Mom!  I want these Mom!  Hey Dad can I have a pack of these?"  Sometimes you really need to assert your power with your kids just to tell them and explain to them why buying some things are a complete waste of time and money.  If you have to shout real loud or make them cry to get your point across, SO BE IT!

I remember finding some E.T. cards in an end-table at our old house.  E.T. was like a Phenomena when that came out in the 80s.  I was born in '81, E.T. came out in '82, but it was still being watched and marveled at at our house probably well into 1986.  It's the first movie I can remember watching and it's still the one movie I can't watch without breaking down crying at the end when Elliot says goodbye to his friend.  "Ouch."  Spielberg is the master of that.  Getting you to feel like your 8 years old again when your thirty or fifty.

Going back to the places you lived as a youth can be especially uncomfortable.  You see the same old familiar places, but with all new faces & fucking ipods.  It's really just the realization I'm getting older that makes me bitter.  I can't be that ten-year-old playing in the dirt with my friends anymore.  I know it gets worse too as time rolls on.  Wait till I'm 60, if I even get there.  It ain't hard to tell why old men act so pissed-off and angry all the time.

But on a lighter note I prefer to end with a card find.  Sometimes you'll find cool things when you go looking back in those old places.  At my Grandma's house I did some treasure hunting through stacks of dusty books because my Dad, Uncle and Aunt grew up there and I know they did their share of collecting.  The Yankees won like 10 World Series' when they were growing up and my Grandpa was a Yankee fan along with practically every other American.  Only a matter of breathing in a few more allergens & tossing a couple trees.  If you ever find Old Books, definitely be sure to flip through the pages cuz you never know what card they may have used for a book-mark.

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